We were married 42 years. Kathy Marie, my husband died june 11 2018 off a massive heart attack. I am disgusted by some people behaviour and the requests I have had to accommodate. He also had lymphoma. I held my beloved’s hand for 3 days and had the honor of being the one to wipe his tears We had first round of chemo and then as we were gearing up for second chemo he spiked a fever of 104!!! Sadly he died before I reached him. However , we never got established into a new church or senior center.Therefore we never made any new friends. This time they said it was not just the diabetes but a cardiac arrest. I wanted to end life as a happy person, not someone who cries every day and wishes for death to come. Erica. So, sorry if I’m breaking any rules of the site or something. I don’t think the perfume in the bathroom will hold your relationship back — unless you let it. I know he isn’t in pain but I still miss him and want him back. I am trying to keep my calendar full of activities connecting with friends and family to stay ahead of the tears. I cry almost every single day. He went into the hospital for a 2-3 day stay to adjust meds for congestive heart failure and afib. I crochet things for people and I keep the TV on just for background noise/company. I do not have breast cancer and I am not a survivor! This book – Grieving the Loss of Someone You Love – will help you understand the cycles of grief, sort through the emotions of anger, guilt, fear, and depression, and face the God who allowed you to lose the one you love. you can have the ghost. The only thing worse than losing a beloved husband or wife is losing a child…although it doesn’t make sense to compare different types of grief! in spirit!!!! Sometimes I sat in the garden and cried then continued the work with my renewed sense of purpose. A trail of tears for surgeries, infections, wounds that cast a long shadow. I am filled with such sadness. “They” tell me it gets easier, I hope so, but I can’t see how it can get easier as every morning when I wake up, he still won’t be here. He’s been gone, now, for fourteen months, and I still write to him. A quick read in short takes--just what a grieving widow or widower can handle. i wrote this for all who are suffering and do not see a light, but there definitely is one. This was a man who studied Philosophy, hiked mountains , played a Trumpet in dance bands , painted in Oil paints , served 22 years in the RCAF , moved over 40 times ( with me ),loved to garden and was my life , completely, he would call me Gorgeous , or Lumpsey , and when we Rvd for many years , his co-pilot/ navigator Please remember you are not alone. My heart goes out to you and your daughter, and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you mourn. it was fun doing that. In January 2011 he underwent surgery to have part of his bowel removed and then went on to have Chemo. I sleep on his side of the bed now. My husband too said I love you many times but my memories of him saying it before we went to bed were most prominent in my memory.

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